EQ in our Children

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When emotions run high, people do and say things they normally would not. When you’re a young child, this is what you do all the time. Sadly it is what all adults do some of the time and more than we should.

Emotional intelligence encompasses awareness, understanding, and the ability to express and manage one’s emotions.

Research suggests emotional intelligence is twice as strong a predictor as IQ of later success. The study demonstrated that self-control predicted success better than IQ, socioeconomic status, and family environment. Those children high in self-control were also healthier, made more money, and were less likely to have criminal records or trouble with alcohol.

The first piece of emotional intelligence is awareness and understanding of emotions. We have to understand and accept before we can control and express our emotions. Emotions are not an inconvenience, but rather a piece of human evolution that serves a purpose.

Our emotions are to be respected and reflected upon not suppressed. Sadness is an emotion uniquely capable of slowing us down, both in thought and motor activity. This can allow us the opportunity to reflect on the source of our emotional upset and take a closer look at the antecedents of it.

In contrast, anger speeds us up, mobilising intense energy and sending blood to our extremities. While evolutionary, this geared us up for a fight; in modern times, it allows the sustained energy for a fight of a different nature. Anger cues us that our rights have been violated and helps us mobilise to protect against future threats.

We need these experiences develop self-control and emotional intelligence. Dr. John Gottman observed how parents respond to their children’s emotions in an effort to understand how emotional intelligence develops. Dr. Gottman’s research shows children of parents who emotion coach are physically healthier, do better in school, and get along better with friends. 

In our schools how do we as the 'adults' go with self-control of our emotions?  

How do we emotion coach our own and other's responses? How much time do we actually spend reflecting on our behaviours, how they are seen, the motivation and intent behind the behaviours?

In my experience as staff in schools, this is one area where we ask students to reflect on and enhance their EQ while putting a little time, energy and resources into doing the same for ourselves.

Last week around half of our Principals across the North and North West participated in a Life Style Inventory (LSI) self-survey.  This week remaining Principals will participate in a self-survey and ask for feedback from 8 other colleagues within their school.

This will give feedback on how we see our own behaviours and how other's see our behaviours (while not knowing the exact thinking behind the behaviours).

This is leadership in the pure sense.  Being willing to know more about who you are and how this influences and impacts behaviours that influence and impact on others.

Leadership should be first and foremost about Who you are? Then Why do you lead?  Then lastly How we lead and What we lead?  Often we have had the order back to front.

I am really looking forward to this next period in our system where we as leaders and as teachers focus on the questions of WHO and WHY much more than WHAT.

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The importance, resilience and richness of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander languages will be the focus of national celebrations marking NAIDOC Week 2017.

The 2017 theme - Our Languages Matter - aims to emphasise and celebrate the unique and essential role that Indigenous languages play in cultural identity, linking people to their land and water and in the transmission of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander history, spirituality and rites, through story and song.

Some 250 distinct Indigenous language groups covered the continent at first (significant) European contact in the late eighteenth century. Most of these languages would have had several dialects, so that the total number of named varieties would have run to many hundreds.

Around our Region:

Come, Holy Spirit
Replace the tension within us with a holy relaxation.
Replace the turbulence within us with a sacred calm.
Replace the anxiety within us with a quiet confidence.
Replace the fear within us with a strong faith.
Replace the bitterness within us with the sweetness of grace.
Replace the darkness within us with a gentle light.
Replace the coldness within us with a loving warmth.
Replace the night within us with your light.
Replace the winter within us with your spring.
Straighten our crookedness.
Fill our emptiness.
Dull the edge of our pride.
Sharpen the edge of our humility.
Light the fires of our love.
Quench the flames of our lust.
Let us see ourselves as you see us
That we may see You.

Amen.

Emerging Chefs by all accounts at the Principal's Retreat recently

OLOL Students leading the Principal's Meeting in prayer.

 Pencils are given out as part of recognising these moments and the presence of the Spirit of  Jesus at Stella Maris. 

Birthday wall for staff at Stella Maris.  Wearing the Birthday Hat for the photo gallery

Birthday cake for Rod Linhart and his birthday earlier this month.  Age?

Mrs Illingworth Principal at St. Finn Barr's receiving morning tea made by students. 

Selfless

'When all is said and done more is said than done!
So what will YOU DO!

If you have not watched Neale Daniher's speech to Melbourne players last weekend it is worth every minute!

The last 3-4 years of Neale's life and his remaining time here on Earth is his legacy!  He will be remembered and admired for this far beyond any sporting glories he has achieved. On the video he states something close to the following:

' There is a continuum with selfish at one end and selfless at the other.  Nothing great can happen when it is near selfish. To be great together you have to be over here (selfless)....  you can say what you like but your teammates they know by what you do.....
                      so WHAT WILL YOU DO?


As Neale states 'to be great together you have to be over here (selfless).'  It would be naive to believe that everyone working within C.E.T. operate from the side of selfless in the Neale Daniher continuum.  It would be naive to assume that all people are motivated as Neale says for 'meaning and purpose....ahead of the individual bucket list..'

What do your teammates see with you as their colleague? 
Do they see someone focused on selfless more than selfish?

The answer may be difficult to swallow for some of us. I struggle to be at my best like the next person.  At the same time, I see people who consistently give public witness to their faith in attending Mass while struggling to live out the Gospel message in their actions the remaining six days in the week.  I really struggle with this.  When all is said and done more is said than done!

The ability to be selfless as a default behaviour, to have a sense of gratitude does have benefits.   

Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher, has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.

Grateful people are more likely to behave in a prosocial manner, even when others behave less kind. Study participants who ranked higher on gratitude scales were less likely to retaliate against others, even when given negative feedback. They experienced more sensitivity and empathy toward other people and a decreased desire to seek revenge.
  
So to my way of thinking then, there are benefits to your overall wellbeing in being grateful and selfless.It is worth doing even if it is for your own selfish reasons! 

If we as staff in Catholic schools within Tasmania made even a small effort towards improving our own selflessness, the impact would be significant.  We would be when all is said and done doing more than saying.  We as communities would be giving more authentic witness to our faith!

 Around the Schools:

Gathering space near the main entry to 

St. Peter Chanel Smithton

Building works well under way 

at St. Peter Chanel Smithton

Jim Ireland CETKP 'ing at St. Joseph's Queenstown

Dance Fever at St. Joseph's Queenstown 

- great experience for the students

NIJSSA Cross Country Carnival for Launceston Catholic and Independent Schools

Take a Seat, Make a Friend | SoulPancake Street Team

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@tasmadmonk - Fr. Mike Delaney

launcestoncatholicparish.wordpress.com

Gospel, John 20:19-23

In the evening of that same day, the first day of the week, the doors were closed in the room where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews. Jesus came and stood among them. He said to them, 'Peace be with you,' and, after saying this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples were filled with joy at seeing the Lord, and he said to them again, 'Peace be with you. 'As the Father sent me, so am I sending you.'

PLEASE WATCH 4 MINUTES

There are so many moments where I think we are like the Apostles at Pentecost, hiding in the attic, away from the crowd, unwilling to go out and face the reality, whatever that reality is.

We can operate out of fear so much more easily than hope.  It is easier to convince yourself to not try, to not make the effort, to be out of your comfort zone and simply make excuses as to why it is ok to simply opt out.

In our school communities in all of our roles, relationships are critical.   

                        

We so often do not 'sit in the ball pit' open to hearing what the other person has to say, starting with no preconceived ideas, opinions or beliefs. 

I find it ironic that I can be so much better at this in my professional role than I am in my personal life.  It is so easy to be quick to judge, quick to give an opinion and quick to dismiss someone or something they say. 

I know it sounds simple and I know that some reading this will dismiss what I am about to write.  I really do believe if we spent more time listening for understanding, spent time in the metaphorical  'ball pit' not just listening but being interested in knowing the person; our school communities would be enhanced dramatically by this one individual gesture done collectively. 

We would by this one gesture live out what we say at Mass each week:

"Peace Be With You!"

Around the Schools:

Launceston Catholic Schools involved in Friday Sport.

Larmenier parents involved in consultation process for a new Principal

                       

  “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 3:13

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R45HcYA8uRA

 'Regret' : feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that one has done or failed to do).

We all live with regret in one form or another.  Big regrets, even huge ones or small regretful moments each day that we quickly move on from.

                   

For me I don't subscribe to what you hear many people say when reflecting on their lives.  " I don't have any regrets, I wouldnt change anything I have done because that has made me who I am (or something like this)! '

If we don't think about our mistakes and regrets and make a genuine effort to do better next time then we are no different.  We don't change or evolve or try to be a better version of ourselves.

I have loved the moments of teaching a new class, starting a new year, starting a new principalship in a new school or starting a new role like I have now.  You begin mistake free but just as importantly a bit wiser from the last experience to hopefully do an even better job than you did the last time.

We have three children and how we parent now to how we began the journey we believe (and hope) we are much better at.  I regret wishing that my children when babies would be older and be more independent than they were.  I wish now to slow down how quickly they are growing up!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. "Philippians 4:6-7 

AROUND THE SCHOOLS:

Bill Shorten visit to St. Brigid's Wynyard

St. Paul's Bridgewater Sensory Room:

Term 2

In last week's Launceston Parish Bulletin there was a reflection from Dianne Bergant CSS. 

" This is 'Good Shepherd Sunday' and a particular focus taken today is leadership. Which voices do we follow? Why do we follow these voices and not others? 

                            

Genuine authority cherishes, guards and encourages the best in life; it provides rest and refreshment; it guides our steps; it nourishes us; it leads us to God. Peter is an example of authentic authority: he proclaims the truth, even if others find it hard to hear; he denounces error when this places him in jeopardy; he calls for a change of heart, even when it makes great demands.

Authentic leadership is patterned after the leadership of Jesus. It is gentle and familiar, like the true shepherd; it has won the confidence of those that follow, as did the true shepherd: it has committed to the enhancement of the lives of others, as was Jesus. Heavy demands are placed on those who follow authentic leadership. Those who follow the Good Shepherd must follow him in the dark valleys as well as the refreshing streams.  They must be willing to relinquish some of their own plans and self-determination and entrust themselves to his leadership. "

On any given day I can listen to many different voices.  

The voices of:

• blame, defensiveness and ill-informed opinion.  
• vulnerability, flaw, and humanness.
• insecurity, doubt, and inadequacy.  

The change of heart I know I need to take is to listen to the voices that give me life, energy, and hope.  The voices that enable me to enable others, the voices that help me see opportunity, life, and optimism. 

This is more difficult to achieve than any curriculum change asked of us.
It is a change more important that will have more influence on our professional and personal wellbeing than most PD's could hope to achieve. 

AROUND OUR SCHOOLS

Post 4

Building your child’s emotional resilience: Using MYTERN in everyday situations

Your child comes home from school and complains that someone has made them sad or angry. Explain to your child that although the other child probably shouldn’t have said or done that, they still didn’t have the ability to take control of their steering wheel. Help them understand that it was their decision to drive down the angry or sad road. The other person didn’t MAKE them do it. It’s ok to drive down a red road as this builds resilience, but they are not to stay on that road for too long.

Ask them what road they are now on. If they are on a red Buska road, discuss what type of PETS could help them drive onto a better road. Try not to focus on the reasons WHY your child is on a red Buska road. Focus on the PETS that can help them to regain control of their steering wheel getting them off the red Buska road and onto a green Reapo road.

Your child needs to begin to understand that even though they may not be able to control circumstances or other people, they ALWAYS have the option to control how they feel and which road they drive down. It is the feeling of control that we are trying to convey.

Helping your child to take responsibility and not blame others:

1. Stay calm. Your calm attitude communicates that there’s no emergency, and he doesn’t need to be in “fight” mode.
2. Empathize. Acknowledging your child’s experience will help him/her feel understood, less alone – and less like it’s an emergency. Bypass his/her anger and respond to the unhappiness that’s driving the anger, which helps him/her understand his own emotions better.
3. Model taking responsibility. Your goal is to help your children assume their share of responsibility for whatever happens in their life, instead of blaming someone else. So model taking responsibility in whatever ways you can,
4. Teach repair. When children are no longer upset and blaming others you can teach repair – for example, “You were pretty upset when your lego broke, I know when you told your brother it was all his fault, that really hurt his feelings…I wonder how you can make things better with your brother?”
5. Create a no-blame household. When children grow up in a household where blame is a way of life, they’re more defensive and more inclined to blame than to take responsibility. Not surprisingly, families who focus on solutions instead of blame raise children who are more able to take responsibility, because admitting a mistake doesn’t mean they’re “wrong” or “bad”. Why not experiment with a no-blame household? Every time you start to assign blame, teach yourself to ask “What can we do to solve this?” instead.

Exciting Announcement Congratulations to Larmenier, Star of the Sea and Our Lady of Mercy Catholic Primary Schools.  They have been awarded a Digital Literacy Government Grant.  The Digital Literacy School Grants are an initiative under the Inspiring all Australians in Digital Literacy and STEM measure of the National Innovation and Science Agenda. 

Nationwide, more than 1700 applications were received by the government. Of these, only 54 grants were awarded, and only 3 of these were in Tasmania. 

Larmenier, Star of the Sea and Our Lady of Mercy submitted a joint submission for a Smart Garden initiative and have been awarded $48,000. The Smart Garden Project The ‘Smart Garden Project’ will allow schools to utilize the digital technologies curriculum to support vegetable gardens to produce healthy food with consideration of sustainable and innovative vegetable gardening techniques. Throughout the two-year project, we will gather data (for example soil moisture, temperature, acidity and crop yields) using digital technologies and this will enable students to make informed decisions about the ongoing management of the vegetable gardens. Students will have access to a ‘Maker Lab’. 

In this lab, they can experiment with a range of technologies and apply computational thinking and information systems to define, design and implement digital solutions to resolve real life challenges in the vegetable gardens. 

The awarding of this grant is particularly timely as we consider the Pope’s encyclical on the environment. Pope Francis focuses on global poverty, inequality, and consumerism leading to environmental destruction. He calls us as individuals to act in order to improve our care for our world and consider what kind of world we will leave behind for our children. 


Prayer Liturgy at St. Anthony's

My artwork as part of an activity around ANZAC Day. It is the process, not the product!!!!!!

Monopoly Incentive Mr. McCausland's class at St. Anthony's.

Nifty storage approach for First Aid kits

GUESS WHO?

Prayer and Assembly at Sacred Heart Ulverstone.

Sandra Harvey discussing Counselling support with Northern Principals at Ulverstone.

Early morning Cross Country Training at SHS Launceston.  The Principal nowhere to be seen.